And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

So, since I know most of us have not experienced a Puerto Rican Christmas, I have decided to shed a little light on how my family celebrates our the holiday. First off, I need to give some background. My mother is one of sixteen children, and no that is not a typo. There are ten girls and six boys. Through the years, they have produced thirty-five children, ranging in ages 36 to one year old. If you can do the math, this makes for one hell of a big family, and I would have it no other way. While my family resides in Illinois, the majority of the extended family lives in northwest Indiana, namely Gary. Now, most people shudder when I mention my roots in Gary, but I have a lot of great memories that originate in Gary, so please refrain from making any snide comments. While Gary may not be Beverly Hills, it is the backdrop of my family's history, and has made a lot of strides since it's troubles from the late 80's.

Anyways, as a tradition, my family always congregates at my grandparents home in Gary on Christmas Eve. This includes aunts, uncles and cousins of several different generations. Everyone gathers to enjoy the finest of Puerto Rican cuisine and open gifts at midnight with the arrival of Santos Claus. The food is always second to none, and everyone looks forward to feasting on special items that are only made for major holidays or events. No other food is more cherished than the delicacy of pasteles. This item is very hard to describe, but I will do my best. I would compare it to a sort of Puerto Rican tamale. The filling is primarily pork and potatoes, encased in a batter that uses plantains for the base. Pasteles are very labor intensive, but well worth the effort, and this year's batch was especially excellent. The spread is always enticing and I love every minute that I get to stuff myself with special holiday eats.

Now, most of the present opening is reserved for the younger kids, but it is still quite the spectacle.I mentioned the fact that I have over thirty cousins, and I am number nine in the pecking order. The wide range of ages between cousins has definitely kept things fresh and led to groupings by age. Since I am from an earlier generation, I don't really participate in the ritual midnight opening of the presents, which is fine by me. This year, it was really great seeing all of my younger cousins wriggle with anticipation, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. The sheer madness that ensued was fun to watch and reminded of some great memories of from my youth. There is nothing like seeing the joy on the kids faces when they finally open the gift that they have been waiting for. I all of my 27 years, I have only missed on Christmas Eve, and that was last year for the Bears/Lions game. Even though the game was a great time, I truly missed being around my family on that special night.

Overall, this is an event that I look forward to every year. I know this post went up a little late, but I hope that everyone gets to enjoy a Christmas experience like mine, because it is truly special. Bah Humbug.

Greatest Holiday Movies Ever

Here are the greatest holiday movies ever. I was going to only list five, but I thought of one extra that I had to put on. Numbers 2-6 can be interchanged, but number 1 is number 1. I am open to suggestions.

1. Trading Places- This is the single greatest holiday movie ever made. Some people object to the fact that is a holiday movie, but I will once again point out that it takes place during the holiday season, specifically New Year's. On top of that, Louis dresses as Santa during a pivotal scene. Anyways, this movie is solid gold and should be owned by every single red-blooded American citizen. Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd are at the top of their games and are able to take full advantage of the 80's style comedy that can no longer be made. Here are some quotes that deserve to be listed: "My code name was Agent Orange."

"Can I help you officers?"
"Is there a lawyer in the house?"
"You do that, a quart of blood will fall out of a person's body."
"It ain't cool being no Jive Turkey so close to Thanksgiving."
"Yeah!"
"Hey, Morty! What it is?"
"Randy? Is that like Randy Jackson from the Jackson 5?"
"Y'all ain't gonna jacuzzi nobody?"
"Lionel!!"
"Swedish meatballs? But your wearing lederhosen."
"Looking good Billy Ray."
"Feeling good Louis."

There are plenty others, but they are rated R, so I won't list them. Regardless, everyone should see this movie.

2. The Ref- This one may be little known, but it stars Dennis Leary and Kevin Spacey. It's about a dysfunctional family that learns the value of the holidays during a burglary gone awry. Now this is admittedly on the dark side of comedy, but it has a good message while delivering some delightfully dirty jokes.

3. Scrooged- This is an ingenious take on the classic Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol. Bill Murray plays the role of Scrooge in a way that no one else can. His hysterical version is wonderfully cold and bitter, with nice supporting roles played by Buster Poindexter and Carol Kane.

4. Die Hard- Even though I am partial to third installment of this series, number one is the best of the Christmas themed entries. How can you deny the introduction of John McClane to pop culture history. On top of that, this movie features one of the all-time great movie villains, Hans Gruber, played with brilliance by Alan Rickman.

5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- This may not equal the first Vacation, but it is damn funny. From Clark stringing the lights, to Cousin Eddie loading up three bags of Ol ' Roy onto the shopping cart Clark extends the offer to pick up the tab on a few extra groceries. This is perhaps all topped by scene of the family chasing the squirrel. Classic.

6. Love Actually- This will probably shock most of you, but this is a damn fine movie. From the hysterical take on the classic "Love is All Around," to the all star cast (Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly, Billy Bob Thornton, Liam Neeson and Colin Firth to name a few) this movie is great to watch with a special someone to warm up the heart.