Greatest Holiday Movies Ever

Here are the greatest holiday movies ever. I was going to only list five, but I thought of one extra that I had to put on. Numbers 2-6 can be interchanged, but number 1 is number 1. I am open to suggestions.

1. Trading Places- This is the single greatest holiday movie ever made. Some people object to the fact that is a holiday movie, but I will once again point out that it takes place during the holiday season, specifically New Year's. On top of that, Louis dresses as Santa during a pivotal scene. Anyways, this movie is solid gold and should be owned by every single red-blooded American citizen. Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd are at the top of their games and are able to take full advantage of the 80's style comedy that can no longer be made. Here are some quotes that deserve to be listed: "My code name was Agent Orange."

"Can I help you officers?"
"Is there a lawyer in the house?"
"You do that, a quart of blood will fall out of a person's body."
"It ain't cool being no Jive Turkey so close to Thanksgiving."
"Yeah!"
"Hey, Morty! What it is?"
"Randy? Is that like Randy Jackson from the Jackson 5?"
"Y'all ain't gonna jacuzzi nobody?"
"Lionel!!"
"Swedish meatballs? But your wearing lederhosen."
"Looking good Billy Ray."
"Feeling good Louis."

There are plenty others, but they are rated R, so I won't list them. Regardless, everyone should see this movie.

2. The Ref- This one may be little known, but it stars Dennis Leary and Kevin Spacey. It's about a dysfunctional family that learns the value of the holidays during a burglary gone awry. Now this is admittedly on the dark side of comedy, but it has a good message while delivering some delightfully dirty jokes.

3. Scrooged- This is an ingenious take on the classic Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol. Bill Murray plays the role of Scrooge in a way that no one else can. His hysterical version is wonderfully cold and bitter, with nice supporting roles played by Buster Poindexter and Carol Kane.

4. Die Hard- Even though I am partial to third installment of this series, number one is the best of the Christmas themed entries. How can you deny the introduction of John McClane to pop culture history. On top of that, this movie features one of the all-time great movie villains, Hans Gruber, played with brilliance by Alan Rickman.

5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- This may not equal the first Vacation, but it is damn funny. From Clark stringing the lights, to Cousin Eddie loading up three bags of Ol ' Roy onto the shopping cart Clark extends the offer to pick up the tab on a few extra groceries. This is perhaps all topped by scene of the family chasing the squirrel. Classic.

6. Love Actually- This will probably shock most of you, but this is a damn fine movie. From the hysterical take on the classic "Love is All Around," to the all star cast (Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly, Billy Bob Thornton, Liam Neeson and Colin Firth to name a few) this movie is great to watch with a special someone to warm up the heart.

Generally Warned

Okay, I will finally tackle the idea of water boarding which was at the forefront of the Michael Mukasey confirmation hearing as the new Attorney General. Actually, before I get on to that, let's take a moment to remember the tenure of one Alberto Gonzales. Not that we needed another example of the poor decisions our current administration has made, but the Gonzales appointment was a mistake from the beginning. Gonzales' ties to the President, he was his own personal council, were much too close. This is not entirely the fault of the President because his "advisers" should have clued him in on the potential for personal conflict about to enter the fray of what is already a difficult job. Anyways, Gonzales made his own bed in the end by firing those federal attorneys and paid the ultimate price by offering his resignation while under fire from both major political parties. In order to combat accusations of being overly liberal, I will link this article from Foxnews about the Justice Department's investigation of Gonzales' testimony to Congress that has drawn such negative attention. In my opinion, the reaction of the Congress and both parties is completely warranted. Here is a nice little summation of how I felt from www.salon.com.

Now, on to Mr. Mukasey. While he is less biased than Gonzales, the thing that troubles me is the debate about how to handle accusations that U.S. interrogators use the waterboarding method of torture when coercing information out of detainees. For those of us that are not familiar with the concept of waterboarding, it is a torture method that tricks prisoners into thinking they are drowning. The detainees are fastened to a board, tipped to an angle that positions their feet about their head and then a hood is put over their faces. After positioning and dressing the victim, water is poured over their heads until there lungs are filled with water. The fact that their heads are covered psychologically tricks the brain into believing that the person in drowning. I don't know about most people, but I consider this to be cruel and unusual punishment, which was a sticking point in the appointment of Mukasey.

Mr. Mukasey refused to label waterboarding as a method of cruel and unusual punishment, which has drawn the ire of both liberals and conservatives. While Mukasey might be slightly more fair and impartial than Gonzales or his predecessor John Ashcroft, another Bush stalwart, he must insist on a resolution that prohibits any U.S. interrogators from waterboarding detainees. It is wholly hypocritical for us as a nation to stand behind this method as an acceptable method of attaining information. If we stand against torture, we need to see this hideous act for what it is. Perhaps if the current administration needs to be convinced, they should take the advice of none other than author Stephen King suggests. During a recent Time magazine, King suggests that in order for the administration to effectively gage if waterboarding is cruel or not, they should test it on someone close to Mr. Bush. Specifically, King suggested Jenna Bush.

This entry on the Huffington Post by Rep. Jerrold Nadler and Rep. William D. Delahunt details their effort to pass new anti-torture legislature. The important thing that should be outlined is the fact that America as a nation prides itself on freedom and equal treatment, which is not evident if we continue to allow this vicious method of torture.

Now, On to the Jive Turkeys

So, I gave you the things that I am thankful for, now onto the things that I consider to be jive.

• The veto of the SCHIP program. I don't have enough time to go into all of it, but I think our administration needs to get their act together to ensure that our youth is protected from our failing health care system.
• The housing crisis. I am truly scared about the impact that this will have on the economy, but only time will tell.
• The unnecessary resurgence of heinous hate crimes. The unfortunate situation playing out in Jena, La. has given rise to several copycat incidents involving nooses and race based acts of hate that have no place in our society. Perhaps this says more about our perceived progress as a nation that I would like to believe.
• The white sox 2005 World Series championship. I am well aware that it was two years ago, but the so-called fans of this organization have been so unbearable that I had to list this them.
• Oprah Winfrey. Explaining this choice would take too long, so call me and ask me if you are really interested.
• Bad music. For some reason, most music that is being produced today is just total rubbish. I'm not sure what happened to good old rock 'n roll, but for every decent act that comes about, like the Arcade Fire, there seems to be twenty nicklebacks.
• Grey's Anatomy. I will never understand how a show that based it's early success on the breakup of a marriage came to be so successful.
  
• Traffic. I thought I was going to go crazy during my commute during student teaching. However, I persevered and lived to tell about it.
• Forcing stupid promotions upon my guests at Chili's. I am all about making extra cash, but I hate bombarding my unsuspecting guests with so-called deal after deal.

Well, that's it for my little rant. Please feel free to respond about things that you are thankful for, and those that you are not.

It Ain't Cool Being No Jive Turkey So Close To Thanksgiving

Hello, I am back. Sorry about the delay, but two jobs have been keeping a brother busy these days. I hope that does not sound like a complaint, because I LOVE my job at HC. It has probably been the most rewarding thing I have ever done, and I can only hope my students understand how important the are to me. I guess that is the first thing that I am thankful for in what has been a truly wonderful year for me.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year, I am not sure I will be able to think of them all. Of course number one is my little Marilyn. Although we all know that I have a strange way of showing affection, or not showing it as some would argue, I am pretty sure you all know how much I care for her. I know that everyone wants to see us finally tie the knot, but rest assured that it will happen sooner rather than later. Even when it seems like the world is against us, I know I can count on her to make me smile.Anyways, everyday that we wake up together is a good one, so for that I am thankful.

Next on the list would have to be my family. I am thankful for their constant support and always putting up with my complaints and whining, just like Mar. Now, I will argue that my definition of whining is different than theirs, but that is a debate for another day.

Now, on to the people I refer to as friends. I am not sure what I did to deserve such a great group of comrades, but I could not dream of running with another crew. Not a day goes by that I wonder how I became so lucky to have so many close friends that I care about dearly.

In order to not make this too long, I will now write a list with a short description of why I am thankful this year:

• Student Teaching- What an eye opening experience. Working in Chicago was a total revelation. I loved my students and do not have the time to explain the whole situation (perhaps I will revisit this topic in a future post). Although my heart was constantly broken, this opportunity opened my eyes to situations that I have never experienced an made me a better person.
  
• Graduation- This goes without saying. It was a long time coming, but totally worth the effort. We had a great time in Bloomington/Normal, despite my early grievances, and miss it more with each passing day.
• New Jobs- Let me say that I LOVE my new job. And by love I mean I cannot imagine enjoying anything more than my current gig. I have great coworkers and my students are truly an inspiration. The genuine appreciation that I see in my students faces makes even this young curmudgeon smile. I would rather do nothing else.
• My New Coworkers- This goes hand in hand with my previous item, but I work with truly wonderful people. They have pushed me to do my best and I hope that I am meeting the challenge. I learn more and more everyday and hope to continue learning from these great teachers.
  
• Wrigley, Gracie & Murphy- I don't care how much you gutless dog supporters try to talk me into getting a mongrel, I will always be a cat person. These three little rays of sunshine give me unconditional love, which is not always the easiest thing.
  
• The Chicago Cubs Playoff Run- This was a great year, even if they constantly gave me anxiety attacks while watching the games. That gem against the Reds on Sept. 17 was unbelievable. It was one of the top five games that I have ever been to, which is saying quite a bit. To think we almost left the game early so I could get home and beat the traffic. When Aramis hit that triple in the bottom of the ninth, Wrigley was up for grabs and I was in ecstasy.
• Battlestar Galactica- Go ahead and make fun of me, but everyone NEEDS to start watching this show. It is beyond excellent and will appeal to you even if you are not a fan of sci-fi.
• Nintendo Wii- Ever since I froze my ass waiting in line for this ingenious piece of technology to come out, I have been having a blast. It has brought me many nights of fun and provided great fun for me and my friends.
• Notre Dames Football Record- For no other reason than providing me ammo to rib a certain Orlando native.
• Children of Men/Pan's Labyrinth- This combo of films made by Mexican directors were wonders to behold. The dystopian future that Children painted was jarring and great to watch. It's testimony about today's society and the immigration issues that face us was quite daunting, and regrettably, not to far fetched. On the hand, Pan's was a beautiful fantasy about escaping the horrors of war. I have never experienced war first hand, but this movie showed how the terror of war can impact a young person who uses her mind to get way from her horrible reality. Both movies are must sees and I highly recommend them.
• Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury- I may be a little late to catch this train, but it was a hell of a ride. Like Children of Men, this superb novel paints a scary future that could one day be reality. I am not saying that we will soon be burning all of our books, but the idea that we are facing a world of censorship and mindlessness is a distinct possibility.
• Devin Hester- Boy has he provided us lowly Bears fans with a spark of hope. His returns are amazing, and I can only hope his legs will take us to the playoffs.

Well, that's about it. Thanks for hearing me out and I hope that you have reasons to be thankful during this holiday season. Now, I will return to the black hearted, lump of coal, thin skinned, callous, sarcastic, intelligent smart ass that you all have come to know and love.