Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Truth Behind the Dog Story

To borrow a line from on of my favorite BEASTIE BOYS songs, "It's time to set the record straight!" Apparently it has become fashionable to suggest that I enjoy electrocuting dogs, which is not true. Let me start from the beginning. Megan asked me to babysit young Caitlin, which I agreed. I was very excited to spend time with her while helping Meg out. After waking up late and busting my rear to get there, I arrived to pick her up at the Dwyer's house. Tim was there waiting for me and I apologized for being late. I asked him if there was anything important that I should know, and he said no as he left for work. I said hi to Caitlin and told her that we were going to head back to my place.

Before we left, I thought that I should take Shelby the dog out for a walk. Caitlin got the leash and I attached it to one of the two collars she was wearing. Now, I know that dogs do not usually wear two collars, but I figured the other one was a flea collar. Well, we head out to the driveway as I prepared to walk the dog. As I walked down the driveway Caitlin told me that I had to carry Shelby past the car to the sidewalk. At first I thought this was weird, but Shelby is her dog so I thought it would be okay. So I picked Shelby up and started walking towards he sidewalk. To my horror, as soon as I got past the car, Shelby started to get shocked. I instantly put her down and she ran back to the house. I cannot put into words how bad I felt. It was horrible. Since my cats are perfect and do not require shock collars, I had no idea what they looked like. I still feel guilty over the incident and hope that Shelby has forgiven me. As for the future, I will always be willing to babysit for any of you when you need it. Just make sure you walk your dogs and leave me explicit directions about how to handle them.

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My Simpsonization

My Simpsonization
Here is what I would look like in Springfield